i watched five hours of disney junior shows today

time for kill bill

Blaine admits that he plays the world’s lamest instrument, but it’s not his fault.

In fifth grade, when students interested in school-funded band activities were supposed to choose their instruments, Blaine and his parents were late to the meeting. Very late.

By the time they got there, the trumpet section was full-up, and there was absolutely no space for another trombone, baritone, or tuba. Blaine couldn’t make a sound on the clarinet or saxophone, and he didn’t want to play the flute.

He was left with the french horn.

It’s not really the worst instrument in the world, he just likes to exaggerate. The french horn parts he can pick out in songs are actually quite pretty.

The problem is that there is one french horn in the entire band and that french horn is him. One french horn does not warrant any solos, memorable melodies, or even an outstanding note.

One french horn means he plays the trumpet part because the conductor didn’t bother buying sheet music for his instrument.

He spends seven years with his french horn before disaster befalls him.

Read more …

If I have to watch one more Disney Junior show, I’m gonna fling myself off the roof.

looks up french horn jokes

actually thinks said jokes are funny

bangs hopelessly on keyboard

cries

it took me ten minutes to type this dumb text post

hard to type with wrist in brace

klaine au friday submission may be full of typos

I had a dream that my family were all country club types and all the women took me aside for an intervention because apparently when you’re eighteen and single, you are a spinster. And my grandma pulled out this newspaper and said, “Now here’s all the young gentlemen we’re related to and who would also be acceptable suitors.”

And I stood up in my poofy brown and white dress and made a speech about how I refused to marry anyone if I did not love them wholly, regardless of their blood.

And then we all got in a fight about blood purity and I got angry and ran away in my poofy dress and literally ran into this servant boy (wholookedalotlikeDarren*cough*) and he loaned me different clothes and helped me run away.

Basically I dreamed a romance novel but without the sex and with a lot more Victorian dresses.

Now I’m sad over Bill Hader so I’m gonna go watch Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs